Mythical Morons

“The consumer is not a moron. She is your wife.”

– David Ogilvy

David Ogilvy really did hit the nail on the head. I only wish it was the head of some marketing people I’ve had the displeasure of working with.

If there’s one thing that really, really ticks me off, it’s when our audience is considered to have the IQ of a mosquito. Here are some actual quotes I have encountered in the past few weeks:

“They won’t understand that headline. It’s too hi-fi.”

Okay, hi-fi? What is it, a sound system?

“No the headline is not impactful enough. Our audience doesn’t understand layered communication.”

I seethe every time I hear the corporate non-word ‘impactful’. It. Is. Not. A. Word. It means NOTHING. People should stop using it RIGHT NOW before I start THROWING THINGS. Said audience in this case refers to the parents of young children, belonging to SEC A+ in major metropolitan cities. Oh, suuure, they won’t understand anything BUT the obvious. Did you also know that they need to refer to the user manual every time they need to switch on their Macbook Pro? And that they press buttons on their Blackberry randomly because they think that that will make Santa come early this year?

So here are a few guidelines certain marketing executives could benefit from:

• We’re copywriters. We love words, but we’re prudent with them. When we do use them, they have a purpose.
• It isn’t as easy as going to thesaurus.com, choosing the longest one and slapping it on the headline.
• ARTICLES ARE IMPORTANT. Please take that into consideration when you say something along the lines of “We want the words “Celebrate” “Experience” and “Christmas in there. But don’t make it longer than 5-6 words”
• YOUR TARGET GROUP IS SMARTER THAN YOU THINK. Give them some credit, because they wouldn’t be too happy if they found out what you think of their mental capacity.
• Don’t write a lame headline and pass it off as our work when we’re in front of the client. We might not be able to do anything at that point, but karma exists, and I’ve heard she can be a real bitch.